|
敗 犬 |
I found your fingerprints on my shattered heart. I'm a lousy spider, entangled in a love web. Love is an addiction I can't quit. Love isn't a science, you can't calculate the feelings. Can a once in a lifetime love find a second chance? Sometimes when you love someone you gotta forget your own happiness. And remember theirs. When love and determination work together, expect a masterpiece. |
Sunday, January 30, 2011
conflicting thoughts in my mind ):
1/30/2011 05:12:00 pm
in school nao, need to edit the god damn Econs report ): I have no life ): IT IS DURING THIS KIND OF SHIT MOMENTS WHERE I REALLY WANT TO DISAPPEAR INTO THE GYM. but then again, whenever I am in the gym, I grumble about having to do all the weights and all the conditioning D:mankind can nvr be satisfied, or can we? sometimes I feel torn apart between being contented with little improvements and giving up. last Thursday's training was really tough ): Rachel wasn't there and so I was paired w Cynthia and Kandis. Then I felt obliged to follow Cynthia's weight so much =( but I was glad that I up-ed my weights =) so despite the bad feelings, I actually did more =) it's a small achievement but nonetheless rewarding. pull ups are still torturous but much better than the machine. I love the feeling of being able to do pull ups with everyone at the pull up station. I still need damn a lot of assistance but it still feels good to be able to be with everyone, rather than at my emo corner! =) thanks to all my teammates who are by my side, side side to side. medicine ball w Kandis was great too (: finally I have less difficulty in catching/throwing. initially I could only do Xkg, now can do (X+2)kg! ^^ only 48 more days to MR500. hope I get to race and of course, win something back for SMUDB =) it is really damn bloody tough. every training I have to overcome this "inferior Xueting" residing inside of me. it's more than physical and mental, it is an emotional battle for me every single training. but every drop sweat and tear will be worth it. the more effort I put in into this, the more rewarding it will be when I achieve what I want. I will do that extra rep, for the person who is supporting me, and another rep, for my team. WEEK 5, LAI. aiming for best improved buddies with Cheryl and Rachel =) but no negative competition, I still love all the other buddy groups (: may the best buddy group win! :)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
it's a long day even though I never go long.
1/29/2011 07:49:00 pm
woke damn damn mother early because there was class @ 0830. went to PNB to buy food, paid for it and left the food there. holy smokes, luckily the auntie called me back. I am a loser D:BGS was boring as usual. but heck la, suck thumb. the worst part about BGS is not the prof, not the lecture, not even the cui classmate who always come in 1 hour late.. it is .. it is something else D: after BGS went lunch @ Koufu. (Y) love to eat ^^ then went library and attempted to study Parenting101 (sorry I mean Psychology101) but failed terribly ): so I went to SOE to buy Mr Bean to eat. OMMNOMNOMMMM is my favourite activity (:
then went for class. class today was really confusing D: and I really hate the weekly quiz. helpful is helpful but still.. gives me headaches :( but I am glad we ended on time! then went dinner with Alaric. my online shopping buddy DURING CLASS. holy smokes. ASOS AND SUPRE (girls only unless you cross-dress) ARE HAVING FREE SHIPPING ^^ Thursday, January 27, 2011
I HATE THURSDAYS!
1/27/2011 11:56:00 pm
On my way home now, on bus 124, as usual. Same time, same bus, same bus driver, same seat. Holy smokes, my life is really mundane. Study, sleep, eat, train, sleep, study, sleeeeeep(best part). School has taken its toll on me L I am really lagging behind. For econs, I am damn cui because I had to call up Mark Li for help for my term project. That is how cui I am. But that is also the reason why I m taking intro econs after taking H2 econs in CJC. Holy smokes. It’s fine, I do not aspire to be an economist. Then again, I do not aspire to be a social scientist too. Holy, don’t know what I am doing in uni. Argh.. Anyway, I really hate Thursdays. BGS sucks because there MIGHT be quiz each lesson. Urgh. I damn bloody hate SURPRISE QUIZ. Ok but PSY also not awesome la, because there IS quiz EVERY WEEK. Both ways, I die L Xueting no like quizzes L the thing is, Xueting no like school. Holy, really don’t know why I am spending 36K on something I don’t like L On a random note, I might be going for a talk next Tuesday. Chung Wai Keung giving the talk. Haha, it’s about choosing majors. I really don’t know what I want. All I know is I need a degree to get a job with a relatively decent pay. Oh did I mention I need to clear 80 hours of CSP (CIP). Like what shit, if I want to help the poor and needy, I will. Don’t force me please. Damn shit. I am damn dizzy now. Motion sickness? Or maybe it’s just the typing on the bus! Alighting soon actually =) going to get present for my mortal before heading home. Thank god for 24 hours Fairprice. I need to be nicer to my mortal or not when they reveal the angel mortal identity, I will be damn paiseh D: and I know what my mortal likes! So it is much easier this time. The first time was hell. Ran around Fairprice like a mad woman, not knowing what to buy. Hope my mortal will be happy tomorrow =) Good girl go bad is playing on my iTunes. I remember Shi Hui saying I am not a good girl gone bad, I am a bad girl gone worse! Haha damn kaopeh but true. If there was a KPI (KaoPeh Index, not Key Performance Index), I will have the highest score D: which brings me to my next point. My mother keep kaopehing me about being single. She keeps blaming DB for making me dark and big which is the reasons she attribute to me being single. Oh, add in my horrible low voice too. I feel like telling her straight in the face that it is not DB, it is just me. I am damn bloody kaopeh and mood swing EVERYDAY. Wonder how does MOOD SWING works if it is a daily event? I swing from being Kaopeh to being VERY Kaopeh. That’s how it works J and I happen to be extremely vulgar. My mum should just face it, I am going to die a lonely woman WITH LOTS OF MONEYYYYYYY EARNED BY MYSELFFFF. Ok alighting soon, goodbye folks. AND I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO READ BEN QUAH’S BLOG. It is damn bloody funny!!!!!! Monday, January 24, 2011
awww :)
1/24/2011 08:01:00 pm
if you ever forget how much you really mean to me, everyday I will remind you. ♥
Saturday, January 22, 2011
sober girls around me they'll be acting like they drunk
1/22/2011 09:52:00 pm
Kandis says: Xueting, what doesnt kills you makes you stronger. cannot always resort to being emo nemo ok? you are stronger than what you think its all in the mind everyone is also finding it tough we are in this tgt just tell yourself to be more focus and that you have other team mates pushing hard tgt with you thats the reason why we always tap each other on the lap or back to let you feel our presence no one start off DB being freaking good and strong trust me we all have moments like this its all about not letting all these affect your self esteem the more you let it affect you, the more you won't improve you have to constantly tell yourself that you are NOT the benchmark you will NOT be the benchmark DONT BE THE BENCHMARK! you got a lot of potential much more than any one of us if you really wanna improve, prove it to everyone even yourself go run before gym, stay focus and believe me, you will improve tremendously who says you are not improving. in fact, you are improving a lot. rmb when you first started off, you cant even do strength band, now you can. last time you cant even run tt fast, now you can be patient you dont improve over one week or two it takes time (: and yes, below 7 mins ok we will always be there to push tgt (: come on, xueting i am here to help you if at any time you feel like giving up, just text, email, call, msn, skype me ok? and i know its tough but you have to strengthen up your mentality ok (: not only for the team but for yourself too you survive this, you will survive anything caring seniors who cares for their juniors GMH Friday, January 21, 2011
my captain is awesome.
1/21/2011 11:28:00 pm
To the DB heroes who took part in the fear factor challenge, thank u for representing the team today. U all all done us proud. Every year, when DB participates in patron's day activities, we'll win back some pries. Last year, we won the Twister game, I guess it's really the fighting spirit. Once again, I would like to thank u for the 'sacrifice' u made for the team. Do let me know if yr stomach is feeling unwell tmr k.TQ IS SUCH A NICE BOYYYY! I feel so bad for always kp-ing him abt his dragon girl =( ok I need to update my blog with meaningful msg-es from ma friends :D actually mostly teammates! Bff - 13 Jan - It just means that they recognize your effort not that you kant leave lol. Anw congratz! XD my bff is on her way to becoming a pro boater haha GP - 01 Jan - Haha don't worry la you didn't say anything stupid :) thanks for the card xueting and happy 2011!! May you stay true to your new year resolution :p Scott - 01 Jan - U high ah? U gone ah? Hahaaha. happy new year to u tooooo!! U kept feeding me almonds ytd! HJ - 01 Jan - +100 to chewwss =) happy new year to you too XT! Thx for organising this and for the pretty card, appreciate it much =) cya soonnss ma fren heheh. PW - 01 Jan - Hello my fren! Thanks for putting in so much effort for the party last night! :)) I had a great time enjoying good food and quality time! ((: sch is starting let's mug hard together!!! Let's have a blasting and awesome 2011!! :D oh ya! And great job on the card you wrote!! So sweet of you!! ((: Chian - 31 Dec - THIS IS MY FAVOURITE BECAUSE IT RHYMES!! thanks for the long written card! it really touched my heart (: and also for helping plan the party. and the cheesecake which is rather tasty. tmrs party may u all have a blast, cause the freakin new sem will come very fast!!! TQ - 30 Dec - Hi girls, great job today! I heard a lot of positive feedback from the team. Keep up the good work k. Yep, rest well & see u soon! Amber - 30 Dec - Hello xt thanks for your awesome card its really sweeeeeet of you! :) I'm really happy to have a junior/friend like you! Continue to train hard okay! Your hard work will pay off one day! xoxo Chian - 25 Dec - wahhh so long ah miss xt! some effort there truly. may 2011 may as awesome as can be. if u notice i too can be quite rhymey (: Thursday, January 20, 2011
today is not a good day but it is ok, I am ok.
1/20/2011 10:57:00 pm
tired, not just physically tired but mentally and emotionally tired. and no, I am not emo about love because I don't have love, I dont want love and I dont need love. I am a one (wo)man band.back to the topic, I am damn tired of feeling disgusted. why is mankind so selfish :( why can't we be happy for others when they succeed. why do we derive joy when we pull ourselves up by pulling others down? why? you might tell me: welcome to reality my friend. I will tell you, I will do the above to strangers, to people I don't care about. but to friends, no I don't think I can do that. I can't bring myself to put my teammates down so I can shine. I can't go past my conscience to sabotage my friends and close ones. which is why I am disgusted by this environment. maybe your "friends" aren't your friends. I have no problems with people being competitive. you can be competitive and make me feel uncomfortable. just be sure you can take it when I cannot stand it anymore and give you a dose of your medicine. ok enough of my emonemo rants about "friends". I have some good news to share! after 3 weeks into sem 2, I have finally opened my mouth to class part in class!! during pol sci ytd, I spoke up!! although I was damn soft (I know right, so impossible right) but prof was damn encouraging!! and yuling too (: she is such a sweet girl! Yuling: got new the articles not? Xt: cui, never. sian, cnnt class part Yuling: nvm, I got read, I help you for class part. Not like I read a lot la, but I try to help you. Must say something this week k? Xt: thanks!!! haha although she didn't gave me anything to class part, BECAUSE I CLASS PARTED MYSELFFFF, she was the one that made me raise my hand! :D thanks YULINGGGG. and ok la, today BGS I was semi lost but I managed to speak up a little bit. one phrase at a time!!! AND NO, I AM NOT GOING TO FAIL CLASS PART THIS SEM ): ): ): damn mother lot of work to do but I aint leaving the library. HAHA. shall leave at 1145 to catch the last bus, will sleep the moment I reach homeeeee :D I AM CRAVING FOR WATERMELON JUICE! D: I just want something colddddd D: and apparently my farewell email to manhill was a joke, everyone made fun of me!! she read it out loud!! and I typed it at 1am this morning? confirm joke =/ OKAY, FEAR FACTOR AND TUG OF WAR TML! SMUDB LAI, SOCIAL SCIENCE FACULTY LAI! ohhh, a happy thing today. did elastic band pull ups todays!! no more pull up machine! Xueting is moving on to strength bands (even though she got no strength). rahhhh. and I am contemplating changing my link to xtzheng2010@blogspot.com !! but I can't say goodbye to n00genesis :( Tuesday, January 18, 2011
jc days are over D:
1/18/2011 10:27:00 pm
JC days are over, CJC days are over. I miss my enthu classmates who kaopeh me for not studying, who kaopeh me for doing too much for council, who remind me daily the things I need to get ready for the next day.Here in SMU, there are no reminders ): no one who bothers anymore ): Xueting, bid goodbye to classmates who cares, say hi to independent learning. Monday, January 17, 2011
Monday Blues.
1/17/2011 05:49:00 pm
my day started out DAMN BLOODY BAD :(1. not enough bread @ home 2. boiled eggs weren't boiled :( 3. left my stuff @ home so had to go back and take 4. forgot to bring tissue despite going home 5. had to run to catch the NEL 6. had to wait for 7mins for CCL 7. Popular didn't pick up my call but but but then MPH did (: and ZT so nice, helped me buy my boook (: YAY and Linh lent me his Passion card so got discount, I likeeeeeeeeeee (: and and the dentist told me that by March should be able to take out my braces! :D :D and I borrow Weeps concession to get to Outram so I didn't have to pay for transport !! and Waterloo caifan has PUMPKIN today! I love PUMPKINNNNN. and I gymed early :D okay next mini paragraph for WenYi (: I have both of my first time to WenYi... I did my first ALL ELASTIC BAND PULL UPS with WenYi... and my first 5KG MEDICINE BALL with WenYi too ! and more good news, went to GR cafe with the intention of getting free yoghurt but they ran out of it.. BUT GUESSED WHATTTTTT THEY GAVE ME A CARD, SO I CAN REDEEM ONE TML :D HOOOORAY! life's good, I mean.. life's GREAT! but a little cold blanket, I need to go for POL SCI discussion in 15mins. FML Sunday, January 16, 2011
why I love SMUDB.
1/16/2011 12:24:00 am
c'mon! let me ask you - when you first started, could you have run 30mins non top regardless of pace? could you have squat 40kg at least once? could you have been able to at least pull yourself up on the bar halfway? all these are examples to show that trg has helped you to achieve all these and what you need now, to improve further, is to build up on your confidence. not asking you to be complacent but to have a bit more faith. don't you agree that mental strength is really powerful?yes, this is precisely what I'm talking about. we can push you but you can still choose to stop or walk. however you chose to push yourself further goes to show that you've made improvements so let's maximize our improvement in the shortest possible time okay? challenge yourself and believe you can! my defn of believe is: only knowing what my aim is and I'm out to achieve it, not even thinking or prempt-ing what crap I have to go through. have faith in yourself! people who never fail to encourage me GMH.
=) this team is full of love. Saturday, January 15, 2011
holysmokes. fred perry is LOVE
1/15/2011 12:43:00 am
 my fred perry shirt (:  my fred perry bag (: CAN'T WAIT FOR MY FP SHOES AND DRESS! (: Wednesday, January 12, 2011
MDP
1/12/2011 11:59:00 pm
behind every dedicated paddler is an even more dedicated team.
Monday, January 10, 2011
teammates are love.
1/10/2011 11:59:00 pm
Xueting dont be liddat! U r nt weak la k! Its mental its mental! Get past this barrier k? Tell urself u ke yi one. next evaluation i will be the best! both land and water! U also must improve k? Try to increase ur weights a little by little every session lo. maybe this session u do 40, next session u do 42.5! little progress doesnt mean no progress right? :D if u tink u r weak, work harder! diligence will make up for what u lack. this is sthg i always believe in!Jiayou zheng xueting! Ni xing de! (: I just need a lil motivation. short term goal, run my 1.2km under 10mins! I am damn loser, ikr :( and then next short term goal is to not give up on PM CUP selection. meaning I will train like I am chosen. Opportunity only knocks for people who are ready. I must be ready. Sunday, January 09, 2011
iReflect after iGoforevaluation
1/09/2011 11:49:00 pm
if I can have an analogy for ytd, that would be cheating. what I did during evaluation was as good as cheating. I didn't use the proper strokes to get my best timing. I got carried away with trying to get a decent timing so I wouldn't appear to be too cui until I just anyhow row. I forgot what was equally important was my strokes. I totally disappointed Jason :( I even went for extra training on Friday to get extra practice for my strokes. Irony much.but no, I am not aiming to beat everyone. I am not competitive to the point where I see my teammates as opponents. Only people from other schools are opponents. I just want to be as good as everyone else, to close up the gap between the rest of the team and myself. It really sucks to know that the people who started training the same time as you have become so much stronger, have improved so much more, can stack up so much more weights and you're still like before. I aim for improvements but I do not see them :( after 4 months of training, I am still the same. In this harsh reality, slow people will face the inevitable outcome: elimination. On Friday, before I went out for training, I went to Kim's blog and searched for her posts about PM Cup, then read Amber's blog about PM Cup, both the 2009 and 2010 entries, just to psych myself up for a bit.. and now, as I sit here in front of my OBSOLETE Toshiba laptop, I remember the day I was sitting in my first "mega meeting" w DB and the captain were talking about SRR and Sava Sprints, all the votings for which race to go for and stuff.. and how selections were done.. I remember myself sitting there feeling nervous, thinking if I would even get to row for SRR given that I am so new and cui, I remember someone saying it was all about "Attendance, Attitude, Competence". I remember telling myself that I had an equal fighting chance. I remember feeling optimistic.. actually, I am glad I posted all about DB, because now I really need some encouragements. and I get to read my archives :D sometimes I tell myself, my love for the sport should go beyond the opportunities I have to represent the team. my love for the sport should make me train hard and be good at it, whether I am selected for anything. my love for my team should be like what Jia Min said "may the best be on the boat". after all, like what Rachel said, it was never for personal glory, it is all about your team, the person who rows behind, in front of, next to you. it is true. my short term goal: be optimistic about evaluations and trainings (: iTunes is being kind, just when I decided to put on my earphones, it plays "愛与希望" by JJ Lin, and the part was "别轻易放弃 明天要许更多愿望 装满了勇气 就更有力量" (: awesome much (: I needed that (: (: my life.
1/09/2011 04:53:00 pm
  holy smokes. so many BORING shit :( but there is more to it ..  and  (: not forgetting ..  
(:
1/09/2011 04:38:00 pm
► Play The Moments▌▌ Pause The Memories ■ Stop The Pain ◄◄ Rewind The Happiness. Saturday, January 08, 2011
state of mind
1/08/2011 12:10:00 am
I am confused. very cufsoned. very foncsued. very edsufnoc. I don't know what to do :( why must decide between reality and dream, practicality and passion. whys? I am so upset, I frowns :(and at 12:18am, I hear Cheryl Cole's Parachute.. "don't believe the things you tell yourself so late at night, you're your own worst enemy" ... maybe the song is telling me sth. I should make up my mind about matters tml :) when I am clear headed.. when I probably know what is it I want. sometimes I just need a little push to go that extra mile. Friday, January 07, 2011
1st week of school and I am dying alrdy ):
1/07/2011 01:18:00 am
holy smokes, I need a break from school like seriously :(mini updates abt Xueting's boring life Mon went to sch even though I had no class. I how free. but ok la, enjoyed the company of the usual crazy peoples. they're such great kids (: gym killed me. I partnered Rachel, OMGOMG. Tues had Econs (OMG) and AS. boring much. but I love Brian Mooney. He points the middle finger and he use the word: cheebye. I think we will make great friends. Wed had Pol Sci, holy smokes, Briget killed me :( gym with Erlina's supervision double killed me :( I damn emo I can do the freaking medicine ball and cry :( I might be suffering from depressssion :( Thurs BGS was the last straw, bloody boring. holy holy. then Psy was mindf__k. why am I in school? gym was cui because I vomited. the cui thing is nt vomiting, but it came out from my mouth and my nose :( felt damn terrible. mother cui. I just want to escape reality :( Saturday, January 01, 2011
Happy New Year, Pull Your Own Ear
1/01/2011 08:09:00 pm
2006 - counted down to 2007 with Christina & Wei Xian in the cinema, we were watching "Night At The Museum".2007 - no memories :\ 2008 - counted down to 2009 @ Vivocity with cg, followed by puking 4 times along McNair road. holy smokes. 2009 - counted down to 2010 with Bff @ ECP, followed by 5 hours of walking to Changi Beach to watch the first sunrise of the year. 2010 - counted down to 2011 with GuoPing, Hansel, HaoJie, Linh, PeiWen, Scott, WeePeng, WenYi, Wysen & XiangLin, followed by IAMSUCHALOSERBECAUSEIGOTKNOCKEDOUT :( whatever happened in Weep's house stays in Weep's house because I have no recollection of what happened :\ holy smokesssss I do rmb bits and pieces now that I have "woken up". omg I am really cui and silly ): and there is a videooooooo ): I committed social suicideeee :( hope 2012 will be better since my 2011 is not perfect anymore. and my new year resolution damn fail ): I'll have a new one :\ was looking through my fb pics, chose some meaningful ones to set as my wallpaper slideshow (: memories of 2010 (: 2010 has passed by DAMN FAST. my 8 months of holidays FLEWWWW by. Holidays were like work, work and more work. WOrk from 830 till 1800, then 1830 till 2130 almost every weekday. Then it got better, like from 1200 till 2130.. and I didn't work everyday so I had time to hang out with friends, going for picnics, lazing in the library, just slack my life away... then it was FTB, my first social interaction from SMU.. knowing new friends, chilling out together after class for the first few weeks.. then it was DB.. training and more trainings, pushing myself. felt like giving up but didn't.. where I met wonderful people.. and then my first race with SMUDB.. then moved on to exam week.. and then PARTYYYY. went to HongKong, went out on lots of outing with the crazy year 1s. did damn a lot of crazy shit and now we're going back to school.. one more semester, 15 more weeks and we'll be freeeee again. 5 FINALS TO STUDY FOR THIS COMING SEM. neeed to jiayou a lil bit so my GPA wont so cui ): and then hopefully will get to row for PM CUP.. and then probably get to be a facil @ FTB before I begin my life as a year 2.. endure 15 weeks of school for 16 weeks of holiday.. LAI
|
The (OWN)er
09 Apr 1991madly_in_love_4eva@hotmail.com pls do not laugh at my email :( 回到过去
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
September 2012
mankind
CHONG
BFF
BESTIE
ESJSB
GWEN
MUMMY
KEN
SHIHUI
TERESA
TIAK
XIAOHONG
hehe haha hoho
|